%20(3).png)
We have reached the first official step of Marryment’s Phase One of planning. Phase One of wedding planning is the “as soon as you’re ready” steps of planning. These are all the steps to take leading up to securing your wedding venue and ultimately your wedding date. The steps of Phase One will help you two establish a strong foundation, an anchor for the wedding planning process.
The first step of Phase One is setting your priorities for your wedding day. In this exercise you will identify the top three most important things to you as an individual and ultimately as a couple on your wedding day. Setting priorities will aid in the decision making process throughout all aspects of planning. We talk a lot about value driven decisions, the decisions you make based on what you value most. That’s what your priorities are. They become the anchor that grounds all of your other decisions for your wedding.
Arguably the most important part of this exercise is getting in the right headspace. Sit down together with some takeout, your favorite bottle of wine or our Marryment staple: some cheese and crackers. Talk about your favorite date nights or daydream about the wedding, whatever feels celebratory, calm and exciting for you!
You will need to grab two blank pieces of paper, your phone or our free downloadable, whatever you prefer to use to capture your thoughts.
The first portion of this exercise will be completed individually. We highly encourage you to separate in some capacity, even if that just means sitting on opposite sides of the room. Write down the top three things that are most important to you for your wedding day. This can be as specific as I want this exact song to play during our first dance, or this can be as abstract as wanting an enchanted forest vibe. This is all about what is most important for you. Some common examples we see are: a packed dance floor, a specific type of cuisine, easy transportation for guests, live musicians, a great photographer shooting in a specific style, etc. There are no right or wrong answers here- this is all about what YOU value and what YOU want for your wedding day.
I know we said there are no right or wrong answers here, no good or bad examples, except this one. It may feel easy to fall into the “whatever my partner wants” trap, but don’t. Both of you have your own wants and ideas that matter. Even if it is true that you want your partner to have exactly what they want, make sure to do this exercise and let your own voice be heard as well. Regardless of intention with this statement, it either explicitly or implicitly sets the tone that your partner will be doing all the work resulting in an inequitable division of labor.
Once you’ve come up with your top three priorities, take a break from this exercise. Walk away for a while—whether that means sleeping on it, taking an hour, or just going for a quick walk. Give yourself some time to let these ideas simmer. This reflection period is important because now that you’ve started thinking about what you truly want for your wedding day, new ideas might surface.
Once you feel confident that you have honed in on your top three personal priorities, it’s time to come together to choose your top three shared priorities. These are the priorities we spoke of earlier that we serve as a decision making guide and anchor throughout your entire planning process. In this as you are looking at a total of six priorities (yours and your partners) you are condensing these down to just three– some compromise will likely be involved.
Take your time to ask “why” and share your why. We encourage you to seek a deeper understanding of your partner rather than passing quick judgments. For example if one partner really wants a chocolate fountain, it may be easy to scoff this off. We encourage you to dig deeper and ask why they want this chocolate fountain. You may uncover a deeper meaning that your partner wants something that is playful and unique. Or you may uncover that they’ve just always wanted a chocolate fountain because it sounds awesome. Regardless of surface level or depth the answer is, take the time to learn more and understand what your partner wants.
We’ve said it before and we will say it again–it’s ok to change your mind! As you move through the planning process and explore the endless possibilities the wedding industry offers, your preferences and tastes may evolve. Maybe you initially wanted minimal floral decor, but after creating your style boards, you find yourself dreaming of lush, statement-making centerpieces. The key is to communicate these changes with your partner and work together to adjust your priorities as needed. Remember—it’s natural for one or two to shift as your vision comes to life.
Now that you’ve set your priorities, it’s time to estimate your guest count. Listen along with us on Spotify, Apple Podcasts or anywhere you love to stream!
Schedule your free planning call with us.
Planning tips, wedding inspiration, and exclusive offers—straight to your inbox! Join our community and get the latest updates to make your wedding journey even more joyful.
